"Tennis was my toxic boyfriend": Destanee Aiava retires to escape 'racist and mysoginist' environment in professional tennis

Destanee Aiava has announced her retirement from professional tennis at just 25 years old, issuing scathing criticism of the sport’s culture and its impact on her personal well-being. The Australian player described her experience as a mix of opportunity and trauma, reflecting on both the rewards and the costs of life on the Tour.

The 25-year-old player is currently ranked world No. 320, while her highest ranking was No. 147, achieved back in September 2017. At her young age, she emerged as one of the names to watch for the future. She made her Grand Slam debut in 2017 at the Australian Open with a wildcard, becoming the first player, male or female, born in 2000 or later to participate in a Grand Slam main draw.

The Australian has one top-10 victory in her career, achieved at the 2019 Rosmalen Open, defeating Aryna Sabalenka, who was ranked No. 10 at the time.

She acknowledged the positives of her career, including travel opportunities, friendships, and the platform to inspire others. Yet she also noted the sacrifices it demanded, highlighting the effect on her health, family relationships, and sense of self-worth. “Tennis gave me many things I can only be grateful for. The places I’ve travelled. Some of my best friends. A platform to share my story. And it also took things from me. My relationship with my body, My health. My family, My self worth.”

Aiava emphasized the personal toll her career took, both physically and mentally. She described tennis as a controlling presence in her life, stating that she struggled to define her identity outside the court. “I also didn’t know who I was outside of tennis and what my true passion was. I was constantly looking for that thing that gave me peace instead of grief. In other words, tennis was my toxic boyfriend.”

Aiava’s departure also included a pointed message to critics and the broader tennis community. She expressed frustration with social media harassment and the sport’s structural inequalities, criticizing a culture that she described as unwelcoming and discriminatory. “I want to say a ginormous f** you to everyone in the tennis community who’s ever made me feel less than," she claimed. "F*** you to every single gambler who’s sent me hate or death threats."

"F*** you to the people who sit behind screens on social media, commenting on my body, my career, or whatever the f*** they want to nitpick. And f*** you to a sport that hides behind so-called class and gentlemanly values. Behind the white outfits and traditions is a culture that’s racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and hostile to anyone who doesn’t fit its mould.”*

Despite the harsh critique, Aiava emphasized the positive impact she has had as a role model, particularly for young athletes from underrepresented backgrounds. She expressed gratitude for those who supported her without trying to change her, highlighting her awareness of the responsibility she carried on and off the court. “I am deeply humbled that I have been able to inspire young boys and girls who look like me, to not be afraid to chase their dreams — no matter what the room looks like. Without you, there wouldn’t be me. I am proud to have been one of the few you saw on a stage that wasn’t built for us.”

Aiava framed her decision to retire as a matter of personal agency, emphasizing her right to pursue fulfillment beyond the sport. She underscored the importance of purpose, creativity, and passion in the next chapter of her life. “Life is not meant to be lived in misery or half assed. My ultimate goal is to be able to wake up everyday and genuinely say I love what I do — which I think everyone deserves the chance at,” she said.

Her reflections also touched on the emotional toll of competition, describing the cumulative disappointment and exhaustion accumulated over two decades in the sport. “The only way I can sum it up is disappointment. 2 decades and a few dusty plates. All just feels like a waste of time. This feeling will pass in time but f— rn it feels like a deep dark hole I can’t get out of, maybe that’s what sport does to you.”

Aiava concluded her statement with gratitude to supporters, including family, friends, sponsors, and fans, while signaling her intention to move forward on her own terms. “I don’t know what this year will look like or where tennis fits into it. What I do know is that this chapter will end on my terms. And I’m truly grateful for the people who’ve supported me without trying to change who I am. I look forward to stepping into my next phase of life — one led by purpose, creativity and passion. Goodbye, Destanee.”